


Thomas Feels Numb

by anxiouslyfred



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Grief, Other, feeling numb, lack of feeling
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-18
Updated: 2020-01-18
Packaged: 2021-02-27 05:51:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 554
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22302121
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anxiouslyfred/pseuds/anxiouslyfred
Summary: When I've been going through grief this week I've not felt anything. Here how I think Thomas would react when going through the same, especially when asking his Sides why
Kudos: 21





	Thomas Feels Numb

Sometimes Thomas can’t feel anything at all. It’s like the world is just an echo of itself and he both knows he’s feeling a lot but also cannot name any emotion that he’s feeling at all.

If you were to ask him about anything, he’d probably insist that everything was fine and he was getting along. That doesn’t diminish the fact that he’s consciously feeling nothing.

“Are you trying to make me focus more?” He’d tried asking Logan once, when he had actually had a productive morning while unable to feel. “Is that why you’re blocking Patton’s influence?”

Logan hadn’t said a word, just shook his head, looking down. He’d sunk out soon after, claiming he was needed to help one of the others.

“Why are you hiding my emotions from me?” Deceit had popped up this time, checking in on how Thomas was actually coping in the real world.

The surprised blink that received was easily ignored, after-all, Deceit would make his reactions known to a degree. “I’m literally not hiding anything to do with your emotions. That’s generally Patton’s self appointed role.”

Before Thomas could ask more the Deceitful side had sunk out.

Virgil was the next to be asked, curled up on the floor beside Thomas’s table as he worked, clearly upset and anxious. “Why can’t I feel anything when you’re this bad?” Thomas asked, more curious over how Virgil was holding the reaction from reaching him than anything else.

“It’s too much for you, especially between us, so you get nothing instead of everything.” That explanation wasn’t as clear as it sounded like Virgil had intended it to be.

That left Thomas summoning Patton on the next day he could feel nothing.

He definitely hadn’t expected to find his Moral side tangled in what appeared to be wool of at least 8 different colours while crying.

“Are ..” Thomas wasn’t sure it made sense to ask his immediate question but after hesitating decided to carry on. “Are you okay there, Pat?”

“We’re trying to get you feeling again as soon as possible, Tommy. Don’t worry about it and I’ll get them reaching you soon enough.” Patton immediately put on a cheery tone, trying to grin at Thomas through the tangle of strands in his hands.

The knowledge he wasn’t experiencing emotions normally wasn’t lessened by seeing Patton in such a tangle but it was definitely less of a priority now. “That’s great but can I help you untangle those strands?” He offered, reaching out and taking a metallic grey one before any rejection could be said.

Just touching the strand had him collapsing to the floor, abandonment blossoming through his body, leaving Thomas gasping and curling into a ball until his hand fell from it.

“No, Virgil and I are working through these and if it was just one or two you’d be feeling, just feeling bad, but there’s a lot going on now Tommy.” Patton’s voice was soothing but firm. “Let us handle it until we’ve at least got them untangled, please?”

Thomas nodded, astounded that there could be multiple strands if each of them held emotions of that strength.

Perhaps he couldn’t consciously feel anything, but as Patton sunk out, that seemed to be his minds way to function through the excess of feelings he was actually going through.


End file.
